On my knees
by ToTurnBackTime
Summary: I'm sorry, Portugal, please forgive me. From the Netherlands. Non/Historical, Fem!Portugal x Netherlands.


_If I told you I'm sorry for no apparent reason,_

_and come down to my knees to ask for forgiveness,_

_What would you do?_

* * *

><p>When Portugal opened up her mailbox, she was greeted by a surprise.<p>

Amongst the unnecessary advertisements and folded newspapers, was a brown envelope.

Portugal pulled out the envelope. It was thick and she thought it was a small parcel at first. Her name and address was scrawled clumsily on the front of the envelope. The back didn't contain any words. Curious, Portugal returned back to her house and once she shut the door, she sat on her armchair and ripped open the envelope.

Once the envelope was torn open, two pieces of paper flew out of the envelope. It was then she realised that the envelope was bulging with letters. She got up and picked up the two letters which had flown to the ground. When she picked up the first letter, she spotted the date written at the corner of the paper.

The year and month written at the corner was the same year and month she first met Netherlands.

It was a significant event of her life. She smiled at the memory. She had never expected, or even wanted at first, to cross paths with that man again. She had simply assumed that he was a stranger she had to stick with for a short period of time. However, she and Netherlands soon saw a great deal of each other from then on.

She returned to her seat and read the letter. The first few words immediately stole her breath away.

_I'm sorry…_

"What the hell?" Portugal said. The letter was short, not even filling up the first side of the paper. She wondered if it was a prank. She checked for the name and signature of the writer. She nearly gasped when she saw the name written at the bottom of the paper.

Netherlands.

What the heck? Is this some sort of joke? If it was, it certainly wasn't a good one. She checked and checked to make sure the letter was genuine. But unfortunately, all the signs of an aged letter turned up on the paper—yellowed edges, quill pen ink, the rough feel of the paper. Drawing in a deep breath and trying to keep hold of her composure, Portugal continued reading.

_I'm sorry that you appeared to be another young, cute girl at first but unfortunately, you aren't._

Portugal rolled her eyes. Yep, this was Netherlands.

_When I first saw you, I thought you were a teenage girl, judging by your height. But I discovered upon closer inspection that you're actually around the same age as me. Even so, I tried to make a pass on you but that, unfortunately, earned me a hard, gruelling kick to the shins._

Portugal smiled. Of course.

_You then pushed me to the ground and began beating me up, which was uncalled for. At the end of my 'punishment', I received a black eye and bruised limbs. You seemed so proud of that. It was then did we introduce ourselves. You didn't seem to be very willing to cross paths with me again. I thought it would be for the best if we didn't see each other again._

With that, the letter was ended. Portugal placed the letter on her table and looked through the other letters in the envelope. She realised that each one was dated and ended with 'I'm sorry'. She wondered what the apologies were for. Pushing the thought aside, her interest was once more sparked when she saw a letter dated the year she and Netherlands took Indonesia as their colony, with Portugal only having a minor part in Indonesia's colonisation. Portugal sighed. She wondered if Netherlands had gotten tired of snatching her colonies.

_I'm sorry that we ended up having to look after the same nation._

_By right, I was the dominant power in Indonesia, with you only playing a minor role. Either way, we were forced under the same roof, with Indonesia as a bridge between us. Although you were not that dominant in Indonesia at that time, Indonesia looked up to you as an older sister, and I began to notice her trying to avoid me when possible. Whenever you thought I was being too rough on her, you would kick me in the shins or go as far as to beat me up. But_ _in the end, I suppose all was necessary if it was to keep the stable relationship between the three of us._

Portugal placed the letter on the table on she was done reading it. Well, at least those times were fun. She had to admit even with Netherlands, time under the same roof became bearable.

Portugal looked through the other letters. She pulled out a few more, reading them carefully. After reading the seventh letter, she came across a letter dated two months after her war with Netherlands had ended. She cringed at the memory. She hated to be reminded of the Dutch-Portuguese War. It was the war that had led her to losing Indonesia to Netherlands. It was painful to leave the one whom she cared about. More importantly, she and Netherlands were engaged in a serious fight that had dented their already-bumpy relationship. Suppressing her anger, Portugal read the letter.

_I'm sorry I hurt you._

_It's already been two months since the end of our war, and I now realise that perhaps war wasn't necessary. Now looking back, I suppose the cause of the war was partly due to me. But I'm not going to say it's entirely my fault. But maybe if I had not laid eyes on your carrack in the first place, none of that would have happened._

_Once I had captured your carrack and sold whatever was in it, but you demanded to have your cargo back for you needed the money as well. Things got complicated from that point on and I would rather not write about it. However, it remains a fact that we gave each other scars, both physical and emotional ones. Now, I wonder if our friendship is ruined from this point on. I'm sorry I hurt you, Portugal. I really am. I hope you can forgive me and then we can start anew. I wish that because I care for you and I love you._

Holding back tears, Portugal crinkled the letter with her fingers. Biting her lip, a tear rolled down her cheek and dropped onto the paper. She wondered if she was crying out of shock or guilt. She never forgave Netherlands formally after that…war. They had reverted back to being friends, but she wondered if he still carried that guilt of hurting her during the war.

Gripping her skirt, Portugal looked up. _I'm sorry too,_ she thought. Then, she suddenly felt stupid. What was she still doing here? What's the point of thinking when she wanted her thoughts to be heard? Portugal got up from her chair and grabbed her messenger bag. Gathering all the read letters, she stuffed them into the envelope and threw it into her bag. Forgetting her tears, she left the house in a hurry and made a dash for Netherlands' house.

* * *

><p>Netherlands was seated on his chair. By right, he should feel relaxed, given the quiet environment. But instead, he felt his heart thumping. Today was the day the envelope he sent out would reach Portugal. He wondered why he had done that. They were originally supposed to be private thoughts. Drumming his fingers onto the table, Netherlands wondered what Portugal was doing now. If she was reading the letters, she better not come across the letter he wrote two months after his war with her. That was the letter he didn't want her to read. It was too… she just shouldn't read it.<p>

His train of thought was interrupted as he heard a loud and urgent knock on the door.

_Shit! _It was Portugal. Only that girl wasn't aware of his doorbell's existence. Trying to feel relaxed, Netherlands went to answer the door. As expected, it was Portugal. She was out of breath and Netherlands guessed that she ran all the way here. Before he could say anything, Portugal said, "W-what were those letters you sent me all about?"

"You read all of them?" he asked, surprised.

"No, you jerk!" Portugal replied. For a moment, Netherlands felt relieved until Portugal added, "But I've read enough."

"W-wait, did you-…?"

"Shut up," Portugal interrupted. "I think it's better if we talk outside."

Netherlands nodded. He shut the door and he and Portugal walked to his garden. He noticed the messenger bag slung across her body and he guessed that the letters he sent him were inside. Finally, Portugal stopped walking. Netherlands looked at her, expecting her to say something. It seemed like eternity before Portugal spoke.

"D-did you mean what you wrote in those letters?"

Blushing slightly, Netherlands nodded.

"How about that letter you wrote two months after our war?"

Netherlands froze. Shit. She read that one.

"I-I mean it, Portugal. L-Look… I don't need your forgiveness now. A-and I don't mean anything by that last sentence…"

"You idiot," Portugal whispered. She looked up at Netherlands, her blue eyes brimming with tears. "Y-you jerk. You sent me those letters for a reason, didn't you? Was it because you struggled to say that last line in that particular letter?"

_Yes, Portugal, _Netherlands thought. But he was too nervous to say anything, so he just nodded.

"T-then, fine. I-I forgive you," she stuttered. Her cheeks turned bright pink as she murmured, "A-and, I love you too…"

Netherlands leaned forward and lowered himself to Portugal's height. He gently pressed his lips against hers. Feeling her heart flutter with joy, Portugal kissed him back.

After a while, their lips parted, but they didn't pull back. Netherlands smiled softly as he gently pulled Portugal closer to him. He enlaced her and stroked her hair. He smiled as he whispered into her ear, "Ik hou van je, Portugal."

Portugal stood on the tips of her toes and kissed his cheek. "Eu também te amo, Netherlands."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I just had to write this, okay? This one was pulling and whining at me and even haunting me. XD So this one may be a little fluffy. So here's some historical notes:**

**Netherlands' first letter: I guess this was around the 1300s or so.**

**Netherlands' second letter: This was, by no doubt, the late 1500s to the 1600s. The Portuguese were the first to set foot in Indonesia. The Dutch soon followed. Portugal had control over East Timor, while Netherlands over the other parts of Indonesia**

**Netherlands third letter: This is the Dutch-Portuguese War. Portugal lost a few of her Asian colonies to Netherlands. (Indonesia and I think Malaysia were handed over to the Dutch.)**

**Translation notes:**

**Ik hou van je- Obviously, I love you in Dutch :)**

**Eu também te amo- 'I love you too' in Portuguese.**

**This was all done using Google Translate, so feel free to correct and kill—I mean just correct me. If you kill me who else are you going to get all these NetherPort fics from? **


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